Pine Points Presents...

"If a play a guy or not has nothing to do with it. It's the numbers that he puts up after the trade."

-Raud (Albany Patroons) 12th of November, 2009

(Sorry Ericka, you haven't done squat since I buried you last year!)

Monte Quipo SS

As the trade deadline approaches I'd like to thank y'all for attempting to acquire Steve Slaton, however he was drafted to be in Quip for some time to come. Sure, he has had a few issues holding on the the pigskin this year but we believe in him. We are going to ride him like a pimped out Monte Carlo SS... this SS is going in for a tune-up during his bye in week 10. The Rabid Ghosts have a mini-roulette RB going the rest of this season in Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch-PIN, and Monte Quipo SS.

CJ is the best back in the league and will be a keeper heading into the 2010 season. Evaluations are to take place regarding the on-field performance of Lynch and SS for the remainder of '09 into the offseason before deciding which of the two won't be suiting up in the same locker room as CJ.

Sincerely,

Zuc

Outlaws Submerge Himself From Reporters

Following the loss to Aliquippa this weekend FAASPN reporters flocked to the shores to interview AquaMan after his devistating week 4 loss to the Rabid Ghosts.

The Outlaws had a significant lead into the 4th quarter yet could not hold on for the win. Aliquippa won 79-74 in a unbelievable come from behind victory.

No official interview was conducted but, while the Mt Lebanon owner was running to the water's edge, one reporter yelled towards Bob Drummond, "Where are you going?!?"

AquaMan looked away and began his dive into Atlantis yelping out, "O and... {splash}...". A few seconds later a reporter was able to capture this below photo.


The Outlaws are currently 0-4 in the '09 FAA season. They face division rival Albany in week 5.

"O is Slow"

Let it flow - let yourself go
O is slow - he got no tempo

It's was old school but now it's brand new
So the Clients caught the Mt Lebo flu
Not like a fever not like a cold
The beatdowns are clear his winning is old
O, don't see a doctor or see a nurse
Just look at your players put them first
Now step away off your broken down stoop
It's about time your team is poop
We brought you down so shut the hell up
It's time for Quip to win the Fabio Cup
We got determination - youth and size
Our apologies O'Dunce we don't euthanize
What you see is what you get
And yinz ain't seen nothing yet

Let it flow - let yourself go
O is slow - he got no tempo

I don't have a ring yet my team will be fine
You could live your whole life and party like it's 1999
On the Maulers blog we may not be mentioned
We're the Rabid Ghosts not Screech paying your pension
Strong as an ox fresh out the box
The crowd is so live they're coming in flocks
And when our game's on the crowd goes off
It's all hardnosed ball there's nothing soft

Let it flow - let yourself go
O is slow - he got no tempo

We may not run your town but we got the win
We don't stroll around but we rolled up on your chin
Joe Flacco, C-John, Bowe makes three
And we can do it like this up the FAA tree
When Quip takes the field opponents get chilled
I know my game is strong and my friend you are done
Like Albany and Sewickley after me Chris Z.
The last two years weren't free you must pay a fee
An "L" on delivery like a C.O.D.

Let it flow - let yourself go
O is slow - he go no tempo

The O is slow in order to dance
Put on an old pair of parachute pants
First you move your mouth and spit out game
Only to take the field and beat him down in shame
It's truly stable and you ought to be able
To dance all over the O-wen disabled.

Let it flow - let yourself go
O is slow - he got no tempo

WHAT HAPPENED TO IMPERIAL???

The Rabid Ghosts fended off the Clients opening weekend and outshined the Hitmen to start the season 2-0 tied with Albany to lead the Central. In week 3 we move from the West to the East and face the always blabbing yet also currently undefeated Limperial Maulers.

Aliquippa is preparing for the Maulers...

While elsewhere, the Maulers appear to be preparing for someone else...

Henderson Beware!

Week 1 is officially behind us and the Ghosts are more Rabid than ever for the '09 season. We just knocked off the best team in the FAA over the past two FAA regular seasons in week 1 on their own turf yet we are 2.5 point underdogs according to the FAA Sportsbook?!? Who runs this freakin' Fazools betting site anyhow? Where are they located? Are they even in the least bit associated with the Football Association of America? Perhaps these questions don't need answered but I can tell you Aliquippa is on a mission to win every single game this year. Last week we beat Father Once Upon A Time and now we face Henderson who didn't even submit their lineup prior to kickoff last week! Joe Flacco may get his 2nd consecutive start over Philip Rivers as they face one another in San Diego. Quip has another interesting game of interest as Chris Johnson and Steve Slaton take the NFL field as opponents. The Hitmen appear to have a major concern with their starting QB (McNabb) questionable to play this weekend. Could rookie Sanchez get his first FAA start? This would not doubt have interesting irony as Zuc was heckled for having Joe Flacco as his keeper QB. All you suckers that placed your Fazools against us... it's not too late to change your wager!

ALIQUIPPA WINS!!!!

Aliquippa is going nuts! The town is rockin' as their Rabid Ghosts shock the FAA world by upsetting the NY Clients in week 1 of the 2009 season. Zuc set a goal for the franchise to obtain the first ever undefeated season in FAA history. The win wasn't pretty but serving the Clients only their 6th regular season loss in the past 2 years was an outstanding feat. NY Clients offensive coordinator, Fatass O, was shaking his badonkadonk around all week blabbing about how he owns this town... that may be true but he don't own the Quip!

Rabid Ghost Fans To Stay In NY Hampton Hotel

Somewhere in NY - When Aliquippa fans inquired with travel agencies about the NY Clients many of the customer service agents had never heard of these dinosaurs. For the most part only those that have been following the FAA dating back to the 20th Century are familiar with the Clients who won the first ever Championship back in 1999. Supervisors had to assist with the reservations for the visiting Rabid Ghost fans. Although they were not able to confirm the exact location of the hotel they did provide a warning that the hotel owner has been choking for nearly a decade. Guest were strongly urged to stay with friends and family in the surrounding area if at all possible. The Hampton Hotel underwent renovations at the turn of the century however due to financial problems as a result of major underachievement, remodeling has yet to be completed. As a result room rates have been extremely affordable. Statistics show that the hotel averages between 8-13% capacity during the offseason and 21-29% during the FAA season over the past 9 years. Coach Zuc and his Rabid Ghosts are anxious to step on the field this weekend, take care of bidness, and return home to Aliquippa with a 1-0 record and begin preparing for week 2. It has been confirmed that the Ghosts are not stepping anywhere near this broken down hotel. No additional information on their stay has been released.

Quip Comments on '09 FAA Draft

In the previous blog I provided a detailed overview of my own draft. It's time for me to provide comments on all other 11 teams:

Tokyo - Kevin Smith not only in the first round but number one overall? Really? I know these are words from O but c'mon... a Detroit Lions RB not named Barry Sanders was drafted as the #1 pick? Especially being that you already had Brandon Jacobs and Ronnie Brown as your keepers dude!!!! Gates and Lee Evans appear to be the only other immediate talent selected. This type of drafting would be expected coming out of the Central but then again... WE ARE...

Honolulu - gotta love the youth movement. The Destroyers definitely needed a compliment to Michael Turner but not so sure selecting Moreno #2 overall was the right move. Denver tends to use a RBBC approach and new HC McDaniels also was part of NE where they did the same. Donald Brown was a solid pick who potentially has more upside then Knowshon. Percy Harvin is a viable weapon who can be explosive as a rookie. Anthony Gonzalez slipped to the 3rd round and was a bargain.

Jersey - Carc was exhausted being up for the draft at 3am Philippines time and the results of his draft would fatigue most as well. Colston was a solid 1st rd pick and Benson could be a surprising selection as well. The most comical part of the JACTers draft was his insanely riduclous comment that Shonn Greene would steal 9-10 TDs.

Pittsburgh - MASON!?!? Wow, Jamal Lewis in the 1st round. Did the Ballers not know that there was speculation that Lewis wouldn't even make the final roster as they were trimming down to 53? Anyhow, this IS our beloved Pittsburgh franchise so... moving on... yawn!

Mt Lebo - AquaMan had undoutbedly the best keepers entering the draft. But as it turns out he seemed to reduce his odds of dominating the Central and even making the playoffs as it appeared he would do with his keeper staff. The Outlaws drafted Greg Olsen and Derek Ward with their first two selections. Olsen is not a top 5 TE and Ward may not even start!!! He drafted Fred Jackson as his 4th selection - Memotobob: Marshawn Lynch is only suspended 3 games. Not the entire season! Mark Bradley? Can we please award Mt Lebo the best pre-draft keeper roster in years as his season just took a turn for the worse. Somebody should have cut him off after 2 beers Sunday.

Norfolk - A pretty strong draft for the Commish. 4 of his first 5 selections were WRs that could be starters for several FAA rosters. His 3rd pick was Darren McFadden whom if weren't a member of the NFL Raiders could be a top 3 back in the league. TE Dustin Keller was nice value in the 9th rd. The Shipmen could be in serious trouble however if and when Kurt Warner goes down. Not even T.O. can make Trent Edwards a superstar.

Henderson - the adoption of Ochocinco may break up the locker room chemistry. The Hitmen are praying for LT to go down as Sproles and MJD could be an extremely dangerous combo. I can still hear the laughter after Julius Jones was selected with his 3rd pick. QB of the future Mark Sanchez... well maybe not but this sounded like the only other positive thing I could come up with regarding this dismal roster.

Imperial - Aliquippa was hoping to land Housh but had a feeling that he wouldn't last through the end of the 2nd round. As long as Hasselbeck remains healthy TJ could be the most productive first round pick of the draft. Although Vincent Jackson only had 59 catches last year he did have 1,098 yds (18.6 avg) and 7 TDs. With an aging LT wise selections were made with Beanie Wells and Shady McCoy. Both of these backs could be starting for their respective teams in a matter of weeks. The Maulers are still owned by the Central and this team does not stand out to change this fact.

New York - Just when you think this team can't get any older they go and select Derek Mason who was talked back in from retirement during the offseason. Baby TO (Marshall) was the Clients' first round selection even though he has been in the doghouse for his pathetic behavior. If I had a nickel for everytime Choker O made demeaning comments about "Donut" White who is now a member of the Clients. Felix Jones is a solid sleeper however it will take an extended injury to Jersey's Marion Barber III to be a weekly must-start. Overall NY has the names on paper to make another run but due to the daily punishment I don't see this team staying healthy enough to walk the walk of all their talk.

Albany - Raud actually made an appearance at the draft and no matter how much criticism he received he did an above average job with his selections. Pierre Thomas is the expected to be the main weapon in the Bayou. Tim Hightower's value is solely dependant on the health of Beanie Wells. Not sure what is up with the Patroons but they seem to be infatuated on selecting backups from the Steel City. TE John Carlson will prove to be a stellar acquisition. If the Patroons make another deep run in the playoffs in '09 just about every theory can be thrown out the window.

Sewickley - the F-Bombs were a bit disappointed when Aliquippa selected Jason Witten but getting Tony Gonzalez instead was not shabby. Siv did well in cuffing Ray Rice and Le'Ron McClain. Desean Jackson, Steve Breaston, and Devin Hester may be a bit unreliable but if Deion Butler can respark his chemistry with Hasselbeck he could have a decent bunch of WRs. I'm not sure what was up with the final selection of Dominick Rhodes especially as he was cut by Buffalo earlier this weekend.

I second the notion that we should all meet up in Vegas for FAA Draft '10.

Rabid Ghosts Address Draft Needs

Scottsdale, Arizona - Zuc reports from Rabid Ghost HQ. Just about every owner in the FAA was assuming that we'd take Philip Rivers with our first round selection. Although our QB position was not the strongest entering Sunday's draft we felt that a viable starter would be available in the 2nd round with our 3rd overall pick. We traded the 5th overall pick to Albany in exchange to move up and land a third rounder. When Rivers was available at #11 we reviewed the board and felt strongly that Philip would be there three picks later as Sewickley and Honolulu were not going to select quarterbacks. Therefore the obvious choice was for us to select the best available player on the board in TE Jason Witten. The release of Antonio Gates left a void at the position and Witten more than filled the need. After selecting Rivers on the way back we snatched up Cotchery which scratched a few heads however picking up Eddie Royal (via Albany trade) calmed the nerves of the franchise faithful. On the bright side Jerricho had 82 receptions in '06 and '07 followed up by an '08 campaign reeling in 71 grabs. With the departure of Coles Cotchery is the clear #1 target for the Jets. Eddie hauled in 91 receptions in '08 and is rumored to be a Wes Welker type weapon this season. In the 5th round 5'11" (218 lb) rookie RB James Davis out of Clemson was drafted as a possible long-term workhorse. Some think he'll replace Jamal Lewis as the starting RB for the NFL Browns sooner than later. This kid is explosive. Chris Henry was taken in the 6th rd and this pick even received praise from Imperial and NY. The historically troubled wideout has cleaned up his act and could do big things for Aliquippa. Chester Taylor was drafted in the 7th primarily for trade bait but with an injury to "All Day" he could be retained and inserted into the starting lineup for the Rabid Ghosts if Slaton or CJ has any indication of a sophomore slump. The 2nd ranked K (Kaeding) was selected in the 8th. In the 9th rd Quip took a sleeper chance on Mike Sims-Walker who has had a injury battled start of his NFL career. If he's healthy he could put up some impressive numbers. Lastly, with the final pick of the draft RB Chris Brown was added for insurance. The draft is complete. Aliquippa is pleased. Bring on the Clients!!!!

2009 Pre-Draft IntraDivisional Trade

The Aliquippa Rabid Ghosts have traded their 1st round (#5 overall) and 6th round (#65 overall) picks to the Albany Patroons in exchange for their 1st round (#11 overall) and 3rd round (#26 overall) picks of the 2009 FAA Draft.

Coach Zuc was available for a brief comment as he was picking up a late dinner from Maggiano's: "We felt this move was necessary to select additional talent in the draft. Joe (Quip) has two great young players behind him. Having 4 of the top 26 picks in Sunday's draft gives our team a great opportunity to strengthen key areas at other skill positions."

Joe Quip Believes In Then

As I told another owner of the league today. I will share this with the rest of the FAA.

"Aliquippa will be selecting the best available player that fits the long-term needs for our franchise."

He is known as "Joe Cool" in the NFL, however in the FAA he is... Joe Quip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrAfRaFm0xU

Believe in then.

Aliquippa Shows Support For Week 1 Opponent

The Rabid Ghosts have announced they will be wearing the traditional "I (heart) NY" t-shirts under their uniforms on FAA opening weekend. Aliquippa fans that bought tickets for the week 1 showdown with the Clients were were provided the option to purchase select (I heart NY) merchandise at a 50% discount for all orders before September 9th. The Ghosts have merely been a ghost the past two seasons when it comes to showing up to play ball against the Clients. In 2007, Aliquippa lost 81-86 and in 2008 Zuc was laid on their backs losing 65-94. We're not sure of any type of deal the Clients have made with the FAA scheduling committee but it does not seem fair that Aliquippa has not hosted NY in Western PA. When asked, Owner Chris Zuccaro, was not available for comment.

My Buddy and Me

My Buddy, My Buddy,
Wherever I go, he goes.

My Buddy, My Buddy,
I'll teach him everything that I know...
My Buddy and me
Like to climb up a tree.

My buddy and me
We're the best friends that could be.
My Buddy, My Buddy
My Buddy and Meeee!!